Tutorial
► Show Spoiler
Sarge: So, just because you're genetically modified supersoldiers fresh from the goddamn fishtanks, you think you're ready to serve your country?
Sarge: WRONG!
Sarge: Until I'm done with you, you're nothing but MAGGOTS!
Sarge: So get moving, maggots! Let's see how ready you really are!
Sarge: That goes for you too, rookie! Put your rear in gear!
# if you disobey
Sarge: Think that's smart, rookie?
---
Soldier: Straight ahead, rookie!
Sarge: Stay alert, rookie! The enemy will strike without warning! Always mind your surroundings!
Stiggs: Think fast, rookie!
Stiggs: Ummm... no hard feelings, right?
Sarge: WRONG!
Sarge: Until I'm done with you, you're nothing but MAGGOTS!
Sarge: So get moving, maggots! Let's see how ready you really are!
Sarge: That goes for you too, rookie! Put your rear in gear!
# if you disobey
Sarge: Think that's smart, rookie?
---
Soldier: Straight ahead, rookie!
Sarge: Stay alert, rookie! The enemy will strike without warning! Always mind your surroundings!
Stiggs: Think fast, rookie!
Stiggs: Ummm... no hard feelings, right?
Operation sunrise
► Show Spoiler
##The Biolabs##
SS Officer: Good evening, Dr. Fritzliebe! How is ze Überkämpfer project coming along?
Dr. Fritzliebe: Excellently, Herr Sturmbannführer! Ze prisoners are responding exceedingly vell to ze formula. Soon ze Führer vill have his unstoppable army!
Dr. Fritzliebe: (And soon ze Führer himself vill cower before Fritzliebe! Ha-ha!)
SS Officer: Vat's that, doctor?
Dr. Fritzliebe: I said, HEIL HITLER!
SS Officer: HEIL HITLER!
SS Officer: Verdammt! An Allied air strike!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Fear not! My anti-aircraft system vill deal with them shortly!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Still... zese old cellars are in poor condition. Raus!!
Irina: Urrrgh... my head...
Irina: What are you? German? British?
Notbot: American. And you, lady? Russian, right?
#A
Irina: Da. I remember being captured... tortured...
Marcel: Mon dieu... What the hell is going on?
Stave Rygur: I don't know, but I'm not going back in one of those tanks.
#B
Irina: Da. I remember being captured... tortured...
Marcel: Me too. But where are we... How...?
Stave Rygur: I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
#C
Irina: Da... where are we?
Marcel: Mon dieu... What the hell is going on?
Stave Rygur: I don't know, but I'm not sticking around.
---
#A
Marcel: The symbol of the Six-Sided Sun... so we are in the hands of the SSS.
Stave Rygur: Hell...
Irina: What do you know about them?
Notbot: Only that they are Nazis. The worst kind.
Irina: Fair enough. Then you have some idea of what we're up against.
#B
Marcel: That's no regular Nazi flag. What is this?
Stave Rygur: They call it 'Die Sechs-Seitige Sonne'. It's bad news.
Irina: What do you know about the SSS?
Notbot: A secret society within the Reich. Secret research - weapons, bio-engineering, the occult...
Irina: Jeez. And here I thought regular Nazis were bad enough.
---
Stave Rygur: Guess they kept our old clothes.
Nazi Scientist: Mein Gott! Stop them!
Irina: You won't take me alive, you devils!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
#A
Stave Rygur: I feel... different. Stronger... more durable.
Marcel: ...Angrier.
Stave Rygur: I believe they had a notion of turning human beings into weapons.
Notbot: Guess they should've thought twice.
#B
Notbot: These Nazis don't put up much of a fight, do they?
Marcel: Strange... I was never much of a fighter, but now I feel unstoppable!
Irina: I too feel in excellent physical condition...
Notbot: Must be all those vitamins they made us swim in...
Irina: I'll ask the head scientist while I squeeze his Nazi neck!
#C
Stave Rygur: What the hell did they do to me? I feel like I could lift a truck!
Marcel: Strange... I was never much of a fighter, but now I feel unstoppable!
Irina: I too feel in excellent physical condition...
Notbot: Must be all those vitamins they made us swim in...
Irina: I'll ask the head scientist while I squeeze his Nazi neck!
---
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Notbot: Is there an air raid going on? Could be our chance of escape...
#A
Marcel: I fear our chances are somewhat slim.
#B
Marcel: Is there a way up to the surface?
---
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
##The Courtyard##
#A
Notbot: Glad we're on the same side. I'm Lt. Eugene McBride, US Army.
Irina: Sgt. Irina Petrovska, Red Army.
Marcel: Marcel Marie, French Resistance.
Notbot: Uh-oh. What's that noise?
#B
Irina: You fought well back there. I am Sgt. Irina Petrovska.
Marcel: Enchanté, madame. Marcel Marie, French Resistance.
Notbot: Lt. Eugene McBride, US Army...
Irina: Shhh! Listen! What's that?
#C
Marcel: Allow me to introduce myself... Marcel Marie, French Resistance.
Notbot: Lt. Eugene McBride. American.
Irina: Sgt. Irina Petrovska. Russia.
Marcel: Shh! I thought I heard something...
---
#ABCD
Notbot: Nazis!
Notbot: Here they come!
Notbot: Look out!
Notbot: Incoming!
---
Notbot: What about you, tough guy? What do they call you?
Stave Rygur: Me? My name...
Stave Rygur: ...is Stave Rygur.
Notbot: That's not a real name!
Notbot: Suit yourself.
#ABCD
Marcel: Nazis!
Marcel: Here they come!
Marcel: Look out!
Marcel: Incoming!
---
Irina: Cannons... that crazy doctor mentioned some kind of... anti-air system. If the cannons were destroyed, maybe the bombers have a chance...
#ABCD
Notbot: Nazis!
Notbot: Here they come!
Notbot: Look out!
Notbot: Incoming!
---
Stave Rygur: Nice and easy now...
Chorus: O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,\nwie treu sind deine Blätter!
Chorus: O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,\nwie treu sind deine Blätter!
Chorus: Du grünst nicht nur zur Sommerzeit,\nNein auch im Winter, wenn es schneit!
Chorus: O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,\nwie treu sind deine Blätter!
SS Officer: Nein, nein, nein! Too late again!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
SS Officer: Again, from ze top! Und more feeling zis time!
SS Officer: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: NEIN! Du darfst den Weihnachtsbaum nicht zerstören!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Stave Rygur: No way the bombers are getting through THAT kind of fire. I don't like it... but let's see about those cannons.
#ABCD...
Notbot: I need a hand grenade...
Notbot: Damn noise! Gotta kill those cannons!
Notbot: Better lob a grenade in the barrel.
Notbot: A grenade down the barrel oughtta shut those cannons up...
Notbot: We have to blow them up from the INSIDE!
Notbot: A hand grenade down the throat will kill anything!
Notbot: Anybody got a grenade?
Notbot: Gotta destroy those cannons!
Notbot: A grenade in the barrel oughtta do the trick!
Notbot: Destroy the cannons! A grenade in the barrel ought to do it.
Notbot: Destroy the cannons by throwing a grenade down the barrel!
Notbot: Try throwing the grenades INTO the cannons!
---
Notbot: That works! Two cannons to go!
Notbot: One cannon left!
Stave Rygur: That's all the cannons gone! The bombers can get through now!
#AB
Stave Rygur: Bring on the bombs! Though I'd like to get below ground first...
Stave Rygur: Good job! I don't know about you, but I'd like to get below ground.
---
SS Officer: Verdammt! Wo ist der Aufzug?
SS Officer: Das ist unfair!
Stave Rygur: Aaaaaaaah!
##The Sewer##
Notbot: That was... rough. How long was I unconscious?
Irina: There's snow... but no sun. It must be night outside.
Marcel: Should we wait here? Maybe they'll rescue us.
Stave Rygur: No. Let us go on. This castle isn't dead yet.
Notbot: What makes you say that?
Irina: Argh!!!
#ABCD...
Stave Rygur: I have to get that door open! That valve looks right...
Stave Rygur: Get that door open! Try the valve!
Stave Rygur: We need to get through that door! Try the valve!
Stave Rygur: Open that door! Try the valve!
Stave Rygur: Try that red valve!
---
#ABCD...
Irina: Door is open! Gotta get inside!
Irina: The door is open! Get inside!
Irina: Get inside! Quick!
Irina: Hurry, through the door!
Irina: Go, go! The door is open!
---
#ABCD...
Notbot: Now how the hell do I close the door!
Notbot: Close the door!
Notbot: Second valve! Close the door!
Notbot: Get that door closed!
Notbot: Close the door! That'll keep them out!
---
Zombie: Attentaten!!!
#ABCD...
Notbot: The door is closed! They can't get in!
Notbot: You can't get through now, you rotten bastards!
Notbot: Door closed!
Notbot: They can't get through THAT!
Notbot: It works! The door is closed!
---
## The Bunker ##
Dr. Fritzliebe: Ah, children! You've come so far. How proud it makes me. You really are my greatest scientific TRIUMPH!
Dr. Fritzliebe: But also my greatest MISTAKE! It is time to rectify that mistake. Frau Sturmbannführer! Bring zem to me!
Kriegbär 2: RARRRRRRRRH!!
Notbot: What the hell was that!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Hm! Ze Kriegbär has escaped? That bodes ill for you, my Lieblings!
Kriegbär 2: HNNNARRRRRRRHHH!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Ah, poor Kriegbär 2! He vas one of my favorite creatures. Oh vell... I admit defeat. Come in, and let us discuss the terms of my surrender!
Notbot: Give it up, Fritzliebe! We've destroyed all your toys!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Ha! Ve shall see!
Dr. Fritzliebe: BIOCHEMIE is my specialty, it's true...
Dr. Fritzliebe: ...but I have also many MECHANISCHE advancements to show you!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Impudent fools!
Dr. Fritzliebe: *cough* Arrrrrgh... Schweinhunden! You have killed me... but you vill not escape here alive!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Die now!
Lt. Kowalski: There she goes, boys. Mission accomplished.
US Soldier: Someone's coming out, sir!
Lt. Kowalski: You don't look like a Nazi - how the hell did you get out alive?
Lt. Kowalski: Nevermind, you can tell me later. My orders are to get you the hell out of here!
Lt. Kowalski: If what I've heard is true, you just might be what we need to win this war...
SS Officer: Good evening, Dr. Fritzliebe! How is ze Überkämpfer project coming along?
Dr. Fritzliebe: Excellently, Herr Sturmbannführer! Ze prisoners are responding exceedingly vell to ze formula. Soon ze Führer vill have his unstoppable army!
Dr. Fritzliebe: (And soon ze Führer himself vill cower before Fritzliebe! Ha-ha!)
SS Officer: Vat's that, doctor?
Dr. Fritzliebe: I said, HEIL HITLER!
SS Officer: HEIL HITLER!
SS Officer: Verdammt! An Allied air strike!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Fear not! My anti-aircraft system vill deal with them shortly!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Still... zese old cellars are in poor condition. Raus!!
Irina: Urrrgh... my head...
Irina: What are you? German? British?
Notbot: American. And you, lady? Russian, right?
#A
Irina: Da. I remember being captured... tortured...
Marcel: Mon dieu... What the hell is going on?
Stave Rygur: I don't know, but I'm not going back in one of those tanks.
#B
Irina: Da. I remember being captured... tortured...
Marcel: Me too. But where are we... How...?
Stave Rygur: I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
#C
Irina: Da... where are we?
Marcel: Mon dieu... What the hell is going on?
Stave Rygur: I don't know, but I'm not sticking around.
---
#A
Marcel: The symbol of the Six-Sided Sun... so we are in the hands of the SSS.
Stave Rygur: Hell...
Irina: What do you know about them?
Notbot: Only that they are Nazis. The worst kind.
Irina: Fair enough. Then you have some idea of what we're up against.
#B
Marcel: That's no regular Nazi flag. What is this?
Stave Rygur: They call it 'Die Sechs-Seitige Sonne'. It's bad news.
Irina: What do you know about the SSS?
Notbot: A secret society within the Reich. Secret research - weapons, bio-engineering, the occult...
Irina: Jeez. And here I thought regular Nazis were bad enough.
---
Stave Rygur: Guess they kept our old clothes.
Nazi Scientist: Mein Gott! Stop them!
Irina: You won't take me alive, you devils!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
#A
Stave Rygur: I feel... different. Stronger... more durable.
Marcel: ...Angrier.
Stave Rygur: I believe they had a notion of turning human beings into weapons.
Notbot: Guess they should've thought twice.
#B
Notbot: These Nazis don't put up much of a fight, do they?
Marcel: Strange... I was never much of a fighter, but now I feel unstoppable!
Irina: I too feel in excellent physical condition...
Notbot: Must be all those vitamins they made us swim in...
Irina: I'll ask the head scientist while I squeeze his Nazi neck!
#C
Stave Rygur: What the hell did they do to me? I feel like I could lift a truck!
Marcel: Strange... I was never much of a fighter, but now I feel unstoppable!
Irina: I too feel in excellent physical condition...
Notbot: Must be all those vitamins they made us swim in...
Irina: I'll ask the head scientist while I squeeze his Nazi neck!
---
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Scientist: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Notbot: Is there an air raid going on? Could be our chance of escape...
#A
Marcel: I fear our chances are somewhat slim.
#B
Marcel: Is there a way up to the surface?
---
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
##The Courtyard##
#A
Notbot: Glad we're on the same side. I'm Lt. Eugene McBride, US Army.
Irina: Sgt. Irina Petrovska, Red Army.
Marcel: Marcel Marie, French Resistance.
Notbot: Uh-oh. What's that noise?
#B
Irina: You fought well back there. I am Sgt. Irina Petrovska.
Marcel: Enchanté, madame. Marcel Marie, French Resistance.
Notbot: Lt. Eugene McBride, US Army...
Irina: Shhh! Listen! What's that?
#C
Marcel: Allow me to introduce myself... Marcel Marie, French Resistance.
Notbot: Lt. Eugene McBride. American.
Irina: Sgt. Irina Petrovska. Russia.
Marcel: Shh! I thought I heard something...
---
#ABCD
Notbot: Nazis!
Notbot: Here they come!
Notbot: Look out!
Notbot: Incoming!
---
Notbot: What about you, tough guy? What do they call you?
Stave Rygur: Me? My name...
Stave Rygur: ...is Stave Rygur.
Notbot: That's not a real name!
Notbot: Suit yourself.
#ABCD
Marcel: Nazis!
Marcel: Here they come!
Marcel: Look out!
Marcel: Incoming!
---
Irina: Cannons... that crazy doctor mentioned some kind of... anti-air system. If the cannons were destroyed, maybe the bombers have a chance...
#ABCD
Notbot: Nazis!
Notbot: Here they come!
Notbot: Look out!
Notbot: Incoming!
---
Stave Rygur: Nice and easy now...
Chorus: O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,\nwie treu sind deine Blätter!
Chorus: O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,\nwie treu sind deine Blätter!
Chorus: Du grünst nicht nur zur Sommerzeit,\nNein auch im Winter, wenn es schneit!
Chorus: O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,\nwie treu sind deine Blätter!
SS Officer: Nein, nein, nein! Too late again!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
SS Officer: Again, from ze top! Und more feeling zis time!
SS Officer: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: NEIN! Du darfst den Weihnachtsbaum nicht zerstören!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Nazi Soldier: Achtung!
Stave Rygur: No way the bombers are getting through THAT kind of fire. I don't like it... but let's see about those cannons.
#ABCD...
Notbot: I need a hand grenade...
Notbot: Damn noise! Gotta kill those cannons!
Notbot: Better lob a grenade in the barrel.
Notbot: A grenade down the barrel oughtta shut those cannons up...
Notbot: We have to blow them up from the INSIDE!
Notbot: A hand grenade down the throat will kill anything!
Notbot: Anybody got a grenade?
Notbot: Gotta destroy those cannons!
Notbot: A grenade in the barrel oughtta do the trick!
Notbot: Destroy the cannons! A grenade in the barrel ought to do it.
Notbot: Destroy the cannons by throwing a grenade down the barrel!
Notbot: Try throwing the grenades INTO the cannons!
---
Notbot: That works! Two cannons to go!
Notbot: One cannon left!
Stave Rygur: That's all the cannons gone! The bombers can get through now!
#AB
Stave Rygur: Bring on the bombs! Though I'd like to get below ground first...
Stave Rygur: Good job! I don't know about you, but I'd like to get below ground.
---
SS Officer: Verdammt! Wo ist der Aufzug?
SS Officer: Das ist unfair!
Stave Rygur: Aaaaaaaah!
##The Sewer##
Notbot: That was... rough. How long was I unconscious?
Irina: There's snow... but no sun. It must be night outside.
Marcel: Should we wait here? Maybe they'll rescue us.
Stave Rygur: No. Let us go on. This castle isn't dead yet.
Notbot: What makes you say that?
Irina: Argh!!!
#ABCD...
Stave Rygur: I have to get that door open! That valve looks right...
Stave Rygur: Get that door open! Try the valve!
Stave Rygur: We need to get through that door! Try the valve!
Stave Rygur: Open that door! Try the valve!
Stave Rygur: Try that red valve!
---
#ABCD...
Irina: Door is open! Gotta get inside!
Irina: The door is open! Get inside!
Irina: Get inside! Quick!
Irina: Hurry, through the door!
Irina: Go, go! The door is open!
---
#ABCD...
Notbot: Now how the hell do I close the door!
Notbot: Close the door!
Notbot: Second valve! Close the door!
Notbot: Get that door closed!
Notbot: Close the door! That'll keep them out!
---
Zombie: Attentaten!!!
#ABCD...
Notbot: The door is closed! They can't get in!
Notbot: You can't get through now, you rotten bastards!
Notbot: Door closed!
Notbot: They can't get through THAT!
Notbot: It works! The door is closed!
---
## The Bunker ##
Dr. Fritzliebe: Ah, children! You've come so far. How proud it makes me. You really are my greatest scientific TRIUMPH!
Dr. Fritzliebe: But also my greatest MISTAKE! It is time to rectify that mistake. Frau Sturmbannführer! Bring zem to me!
Kriegbär 2: RARRRRRRRRH!!
Notbot: What the hell was that!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Hm! Ze Kriegbär has escaped? That bodes ill for you, my Lieblings!
Kriegbär 2: HNNNARRRRRRRHHH!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Ah, poor Kriegbär 2! He vas one of my favorite creatures. Oh vell... I admit defeat. Come in, and let us discuss the terms of my surrender!
Notbot: Give it up, Fritzliebe! We've destroyed all your toys!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Ha! Ve shall see!
Dr. Fritzliebe: BIOCHEMIE is my specialty, it's true...
Dr. Fritzliebe: ...but I have also many MECHANISCHE advancements to show you!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Impudent fools!
Dr. Fritzliebe: *cough* Arrrrrgh... Schweinhunden! You have killed me... but you vill not escape here alive!
Dr. Fritzliebe: Die now!
Lt. Kowalski: There she goes, boys. Mission accomplished.
US Soldier: Someone's coming out, sir!
Lt. Kowalski: You don't look like a Nazi - how the hell did you get out alive?
Lt. Kowalski: Nevermind, you can tell me later. My orders are to get you the hell out of here!
Lt. Kowalski: If what I've heard is true, you just might be what we need to win this war...
Prime Time in Sunny City
► Show Spoiler
##Rise And Shine##
Speaker Voice: Rise and shine, superfighters! There is work to do!
Speaker Voice: Feeling a little disoriented? Don't worry!
Speaker Voice: Just relax and do whatever comes naturally.
Speaker Voice: ...and remember: HAVE FUN!
Punk: Remember - it's them or us!
Speaker Voice: Good job! But now the real fight begins!
Punk: Kill 'em all!
Speaker Voice: Fine work! Take a breather before your next challenge.
##Escalation##
Punk: There - blast 'em!
The Meatgrinder: Hurr hurr hurr...
Punk: What the hell! WHAT THE HELL!
The Meatgrinder: 23 more kills and me get own cooking show!
The Meatgrinder: HURR HURR HURR!
: Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome to the stage...
: ...THE SUPERFIGHTERS!
The Funnyman: Good job out there! You sure handled those punks!
The Funnyman: Now it's time for a well-earned rest. Sweet dreams!
The Funnyman: That's all folks! BUT don't forget to tune in tomorrow - that's when the REAL fight begins.
##The Pit##
Fighter: You can't treat us like this!
Soldier 1: Is that so, meatbag?
Soldier 1: Go on meatbags! It's showtime!
Soldier 2: Showtime!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: Go on! The show's starting, and you're the big star.
Soldier 2: Big star!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: You don't wanna end up like these poor bastards. Guess they got stagefright, he he!
Soldier 2: Stage fright!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: Go on! The audience won't bite! He he!
Soldier 2: Won't bite!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: Alright smartypants, this is your last warning! I'm gonna count to ten, and you better move on before I'm done!
Soldier 2: Done!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: One!
Soldier 2: One!
Soldier 1: Two!
Soldier 2: Two!
Soldier 1: Three!
Soldier 2: Three!\nHee!
Soldier 1: Five!
Soldier 2: Five!
Soldier 1: Seven, eight!
Soldier 2: Hee hee!
Soldier 1: Nine!
Soldier 2: Oh boy!
Soldier 1: TEN!
Soldier 2: HEE HEE HEE!
The Funnyman: It is time, ladies and gentlemen, for the long-awaited season finale of Superfighters Live!
The Funnyman: No hunters this time - only the cream of the crop: souped up, battle-crazy superfighters straight from the fishtanks!
The Funnyman: Which team will be victorious in the Pit? Time to find out!
The Funnyman: Let the fight begin!
The Funnyman: What a brawl! Ladies and gentlemen -
The Funnyman: Team Blue is victorious!
The Funnyman: Now, let's see how they handle some real firepower! It's time for...
The Funnyman: ...THE LAST STAND!
The Funnyman: Remarkable! Team Blue is still standing! Let's have some more!
Worker: This'll fix it!
The Funnyman: What the...!?
Bodyguard: Um... boss?
The Funnyman: Idiots! If that glass hadn't been perfectly indestructible...
The Funnyman: Um, all part of the show folks! We'll be right back after these messages!
Fighter: I'll join you!
Funnyman: Guards! STOP THEM!
The Funnyman: You're finished, superfighters! You'll never work in this town again!
##The Attic##
The Funnyman: You superfighters - why can't you just play by the rules?
The Funnyman: I have a good career going, and I'm not gonna let you bio-engineered morons ruin it!
The Funnyman: I'm NOT going back to Kiddie Hour!!!
The Funnyman: That HURT! I'm going to enjoy killing you!
The Funnyman: You ungrateful swine! What would you do without us?
The Funnyman: You were a STAR! You gave the people what they wanted! Without that, what are you? Just useless, broken toy soldiers!
The Funnyman: Can't you see we're providing a public service? We're keeping the order! Without Superfighters, there would be CHAOS!
The Funnyman: Killing me won't change anything! I'm just the figurehead... the man in the fancy suit. I can be replaced... but I won't let that happen!
The Funnyman: What are you trying to do, huh? Even if you destroy the show, you can't blow up the entire studio!
The Funnyman: More soldiers are coming! You're trapped in here! You may as well surrender!
The Funnyman: Urgh - everyone's a critic...
Speaker Voice: Roger that alpha 3. All units deployed, we're closing in on target.
##The Broadcasting Tower##
Shadowy Figure: Rough night, huh?
Shadowy Figure: I am sure you realize you are not getting off this building. All exits are cut off and more soldiers are coming.
Shadowy Figure: But suppose someone were to bring down the broadcasting tower. Suppose someone were to stop the signal...
Shadowy Figure: What would the people do, I wonder, without their precious entertainment?
Shadowy Figure: It's something to ponder, I suppose.
Pilot: We're taking hits!
Pilot: Damn!
Newsboy: Extra, extra! TV studio in ruins! Beloved media profile presumed dead! #1 show cancelled indefinitely! Read all about it! Only in the Sunny City Times!
Agent: Bodies?
MetroCop: None found, sir. The tower itself fell across three city blocks. Units are on their way. It's a goddamn mess, sir.
Agent: I hope for your sake that you... SECURE the bodies. There are many who would like to get their hands on those specimens.
MetroCop: Oooooh.\n...Yes, I suppose so.
Agent: Not in THAT way, sergeant.
Newsboy: Extra! Extra! New developments! Culprits may still be at large! Manhunt under way in...
MetroCop: Scram, kid!
Newsboy: Stop the presses!
Agent: This whole city is going insane. And it's about to get worse. I can feel it.
MetroCop: Amen to that.
Speaker Voice: Rise and shine, superfighters! There is work to do!
Speaker Voice: Feeling a little disoriented? Don't worry!
Speaker Voice: Just relax and do whatever comes naturally.
Speaker Voice: ...and remember: HAVE FUN!
Punk: Remember - it's them or us!
Speaker Voice: Good job! But now the real fight begins!
Punk: Kill 'em all!
Speaker Voice: Fine work! Take a breather before your next challenge.
##Escalation##
Punk: There - blast 'em!
The Meatgrinder: Hurr hurr hurr...
Punk: What the hell! WHAT THE HELL!
The Meatgrinder: 23 more kills and me get own cooking show!
The Meatgrinder: HURR HURR HURR!
: Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome to the stage...
: ...THE SUPERFIGHTERS!
The Funnyman: Good job out there! You sure handled those punks!
The Funnyman: Now it's time for a well-earned rest. Sweet dreams!
The Funnyman: That's all folks! BUT don't forget to tune in tomorrow - that's when the REAL fight begins.
##The Pit##
Fighter: You can't treat us like this!
Soldier 1: Is that so, meatbag?
Soldier 1: Go on meatbags! It's showtime!
Soldier 2: Showtime!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: Go on! The show's starting, and you're the big star.
Soldier 2: Big star!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: You don't wanna end up like these poor bastards. Guess they got stagefright, he he!
Soldier 2: Stage fright!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: Go on! The audience won't bite! He he!
Soldier 2: Won't bite!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: Alright smartypants, this is your last warning! I'm gonna count to ten, and you better move on before I'm done!
Soldier 2: Done!\nHee hee!
Soldier 1: One!
Soldier 2: One!
Soldier 1: Two!
Soldier 2: Two!
Soldier 1: Three!
Soldier 2: Three!\nHee!
Soldier 1: Five!
Soldier 2: Five!
Soldier 1: Seven, eight!
Soldier 2: Hee hee!
Soldier 1: Nine!
Soldier 2: Oh boy!
Soldier 1: TEN!
Soldier 2: HEE HEE HEE!
The Funnyman: It is time, ladies and gentlemen, for the long-awaited season finale of Superfighters Live!
The Funnyman: No hunters this time - only the cream of the crop: souped up, battle-crazy superfighters straight from the fishtanks!
The Funnyman: Which team will be victorious in the Pit? Time to find out!
The Funnyman: Let the fight begin!
The Funnyman: What a brawl! Ladies and gentlemen -
The Funnyman: Team Blue is victorious!
The Funnyman: Now, let's see how they handle some real firepower! It's time for...
The Funnyman: ...THE LAST STAND!
The Funnyman: Remarkable! Team Blue is still standing! Let's have some more!
Worker: This'll fix it!
The Funnyman: What the...!?
Bodyguard: Um... boss?
The Funnyman: Idiots! If that glass hadn't been perfectly indestructible...
The Funnyman: Um, all part of the show folks! We'll be right back after these messages!
Fighter: I'll join you!
Funnyman: Guards! STOP THEM!
The Funnyman: You're finished, superfighters! You'll never work in this town again!
##The Attic##
The Funnyman: You superfighters - why can't you just play by the rules?
The Funnyman: I have a good career going, and I'm not gonna let you bio-engineered morons ruin it!
The Funnyman: I'm NOT going back to Kiddie Hour!!!
The Funnyman: That HURT! I'm going to enjoy killing you!
The Funnyman: You ungrateful swine! What would you do without us?
The Funnyman: You were a STAR! You gave the people what they wanted! Without that, what are you? Just useless, broken toy soldiers!
The Funnyman: Can't you see we're providing a public service? We're keeping the order! Without Superfighters, there would be CHAOS!
The Funnyman: Killing me won't change anything! I'm just the figurehead... the man in the fancy suit. I can be replaced... but I won't let that happen!
The Funnyman: What are you trying to do, huh? Even if you destroy the show, you can't blow up the entire studio!
The Funnyman: More soldiers are coming! You're trapped in here! You may as well surrender!
The Funnyman: Urgh - everyone's a critic...
Speaker Voice: Roger that alpha 3. All units deployed, we're closing in on target.
##The Broadcasting Tower##
Shadowy Figure: Rough night, huh?
Shadowy Figure: I am sure you realize you are not getting off this building. All exits are cut off and more soldiers are coming.
Shadowy Figure: But suppose someone were to bring down the broadcasting tower. Suppose someone were to stop the signal...
Shadowy Figure: What would the people do, I wonder, without their precious entertainment?
Shadowy Figure: It's something to ponder, I suppose.
Pilot: We're taking hits!
Pilot: Damn!
Newsboy: Extra, extra! TV studio in ruins! Beloved media profile presumed dead! #1 show cancelled indefinitely! Read all about it! Only in the Sunny City Times!
Agent: Bodies?
MetroCop: None found, sir. The tower itself fell across three city blocks. Units are on their way. It's a goddamn mess, sir.
Agent: I hope for your sake that you... SECURE the bodies. There are many who would like to get their hands on those specimens.
MetroCop: Oooooh.\n...Yes, I suppose so.
Agent: Not in THAT way, sergeant.
Newsboy: Extra! Extra! New developments! Culprits may still be at large! Manhunt under way in...
MetroCop: Scram, kid!
Newsboy: Stop the presses!
Agent: This whole city is going insane. And it's about to get worse. I can feel it.
MetroCop: Amen to that.
Escape From Precinct 9
► Show Spoiler
##Detention Block A##
Receptionist: At least the electricity is back online... but what the hell is going on with the security cameras?
Mystery woman: Hello. I want to report the whereabouts of a notorious MASS MURDERER.
Receptionist: Sure, lady. Who?
Mystery woman: Me.
Receptionist: B-Balista!
Prisoner: Hey chief! I want my phone call!
Officer: Yeah, yeah. Pipe it down!
Officer: Why did McBride bring in those rogue fighters anyway? MetroLaw will get them in the end - no point in fighting it.
Officer: Dunno. Wanted them for questioning or something. Or maybe he just wanted to stick it to those corporate slimeballs.
Officer: Serves 'em right! I don't know what McBride's up to, but he's good police. Not many of us left in this city...
Prisoner: W-what the hell's going ON out there?
Prisoner: Hey, LOOK OUT!
Punk Leader: Kill the prisoners too! We have all the warriors we need!
Punk: Yeee-hawww!!!
COM: Blood! Blood for BALISTA!
Punk Leader: Dead?!\r\n\r\nWhoever you are, you just pissed off the Hive Gang!
Balista: I want all exits sealed. No one gets in or out. I'm going to pay the Commissioner a visit.
Bobby: You got it, Queen B.
Santana: HEY! Don't you guys have any respect for law and order?!
Bobby: Nope.
Balista: Kill them.
Johnny: You BASTARDS! You won't get away with this!
Balista: I know that FULL WELL, detective. Good night.
Bobby: You heard the lady, copper. Time to say goodnight!
Punk: No one gets out, by order of Balista!
Firebug: Mfgllll mfwrrrr! MFWRRRR!
##New Managment##
Newsreader: The Precinct 9 police station was attacked today by the infamous Hive Gang. Their leader, a woman known only as Balista, is the self-crowned queen of disorganized crime in our fair city.
Newsreader: Balista's army of fanatical street thugs quickly took control of the station and have barricaded themselves inside. It's unclear whether anyone survived the barbaric onslaught!
Newsreader: The assault was probably a reckless act of revenge for a recent crime-fighing campaign led by Commissioner Hagan, in which several high-ranking members of the Hive Gang were killed.
Newsreader: The mayor briefly commented on the attack, calling it "totally unfair." We will bring you live updates as this exciting story unfolds!
Balista: This is Balista speaking. This station is now under Hive Gang control. All exits are sealed. There is no escape.
Balista: To all my brave warriors, my faithful berserkers: crush the last remaining pockets of resistance! Bring me the head of Commissioner Hagan!
Balista: Tonight there is but one law: Do what your Hate tells you!
Johnny: Hey, you're those prisoners! How the hell did you survive? Nevermind. I see you're no friend of the Hive Gang. So let's help each other.
Johnny: There's this pilot guy - a prisoner like you. He's over in Detention Block D. If anyone can get you out of this mess, it's him. And I can get you to him - but first you need to help me kill Balista.
Johnny: Crap, they're coming! Listen. There's an elevator through the door behind you. I'll try to to find another way upstairs. I'll meet you there - I hope.
Jug: Hey Frank, can I borrow a buck? I wanna buy a soda from the machine.
Frank: Buy a soda? BUY a soda?! You're a THUG! You have a BAT! Just SMASH the damn thing!
Jug: Oooh... I dunno, that sounds like a lot of work... Easier to just...
Frank: That's not the POINT! It's about... it's about PRINCI-PULLS! Where would the Hive Gang be if we started PAYING for things?
Jug: Guess you're right Frank... It's important to have princi-pulls.
Frank: PEOPLE these days...
Agent: You can tell your men to relax, detective. We'll take it from here.
Detective Kong: You mercenary scumbags! I wanted reinforcements - COPS, not a bunch of trigger-happy mercenaries!
Agent: The mayor deems your department... INSUFFICIENT for the situation at hand. Leave this to the professionals.
Detective Kong: You... you... why I oughtta...!
Agent: Alpha tango to zeta foxtrot. Deploy the Streetsweepers.
Punk Leader: Die! By order of Balista!
## Under Siedge ##
Newsreader: ...with more snow expected through the holiday weekend.
Newsreader: This just in: By order of the mayor, several MetroLaw units have been deployed to deal with the terrorists who seized control of the Precinct 9 police station earlier tonight.
Newsreader: Many have pointed to tonight's events as further evidence of the obsoletion of the traditional police force, and that fully privatized law enforcement is surely the way of the future.
Newsreader: This broadcast has been sponsored by MetroCorp: A Brighter Future for Sunny City. Good night!
Punk: Heeelp! It's after me!
Balista: This is Balista speaking! The coward Hagan must give himself up!
Commissioner Hagan: Ha! Not likely!
Balista: Furthermore, whoever brings me the commissioner - dead or alive - will be spared further violence!
Commissioner Hagan: So, you'll turn my own men against me?! You evil, stinking, blood-crazy...
Commissioner Hagan: That does it! NO ONE is getting in! No matter how they BEG!
Commissioner Hagan: No! How did you get in? HELP!!
Punk: Woooh! Nice shot, Queen B!
##Detention Block D##
Jeff: If you're after my beer, it'sh all gone. These coppers confshi... consh... took it when they bushted me. They took my wings, the bashtards!
Jeff: Now I'm jusht waiting for thoshe thugsh to come back and finish me off. I don't feel like running any more. It'sh jusht one damn thing after another...
Jeff: Nope. Never gonna fly again... might ash well give up and jusht [grumbles incomprehensibly].
Jeff: I mean what'sh the point if they can jusht... hmm... umm... ish that a...?
Jeff: Ok, you've convincshed me. Let'sh fly out of here!
Jeff: Don't worry. I'm shteady ash a rock. And I'll FLY like one, jusht you wait.
Jeff: Okay, let'sh shee here. I'd rather have my trusty plane, but... thish'll do. If I can jusht find the ignition. Ah, here it ish.
Jeff: Dang it! Shomething'sh wrong with the enginesh. What numbshkull worked on thish? Gimme a minute to check under the hood here...
Jeff: Hold them off while I work on thish thing!
Jeff: Thish thing ish old even by my standardsh... Where doesh thish part go? No, that'sh not it...
Jeff: Hmmm. Firsht engine is done, but the shecond engine could use some tweaking too. Hold them off a bit longer, guysh!
Jeff: She's alive! SHE'S ALIVE! Hop on board, guysh!
MetroCop: Don't let them get away! DO something!
MetroCop: Like what? We're already shooting at them. And we're all out of Streetsweepers.
MetroCop: Save your excuses for the boss, you idiot!
##The Clock Tower##
Jeff: A shmooth getaway, all thingsh conshidered!
Jeff: The name'sh Jeff, by the way. You know, thish could be the beginning of a beautiful...
Thug: MY LIFE FOR BALISTAAAAA!!!
Jeff: ...EMERGENCY!!! Abandon ship!
Jeff: And kill that crazy broad for me, will ya?
Johnny: Give it up, Balista! Hagan is dead - you got what you wanted!
Balista: But why stop now when I'm having SO... MUCH... FUN?
Lord Pinkerton: RUHAHAAAARRR HUARRRR!
: You no hurt Queen Balista!
Balista: If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself!
Quillhogg: You no hurt Queen Balista!
Jeff: Sho, you're shtill alive! Get in!
Johnny: Thanks for the help. You better get out of here. Far from Sunny City.
Johnny: Send me a postcard, will ya?
Jeff: You won't believe how I shurvived. I'll tell you later!
Jeff: I ain't gonna shtick around here all night!
The Spectator: They don't give up, do they?\r\nMaybe it is that they don't know how.
The Spectator: Now, I imagine some rest is in order. A moment's peace, perhaps, somewhere beyond those dark hills.
The Spectator: But the struggle between Order and Chaos is not yet determined. The balance will shift, and our heroes will return again and again to Sunny City.
The Spectator: 'Til then, what's there to say but:\r\nWell played, ladies and gentlemen.
Receptionist: At least the electricity is back online... but what the hell is going on with the security cameras?
Mystery woman: Hello. I want to report the whereabouts of a notorious MASS MURDERER.
Receptionist: Sure, lady. Who?
Mystery woman: Me.
Receptionist: B-Balista!
Prisoner: Hey chief! I want my phone call!
Officer: Yeah, yeah. Pipe it down!
Officer: Why did McBride bring in those rogue fighters anyway? MetroLaw will get them in the end - no point in fighting it.
Officer: Dunno. Wanted them for questioning or something. Or maybe he just wanted to stick it to those corporate slimeballs.
Officer: Serves 'em right! I don't know what McBride's up to, but he's good police. Not many of us left in this city...
Prisoner: W-what the hell's going ON out there?
Prisoner: Hey, LOOK OUT!
Punk Leader: Kill the prisoners too! We have all the warriors we need!
Punk: Yeee-hawww!!!
COM: Blood! Blood for BALISTA!
Punk Leader: Dead?!\r\n\r\nWhoever you are, you just pissed off the Hive Gang!
Balista: I want all exits sealed. No one gets in or out. I'm going to pay the Commissioner a visit.
Bobby: You got it, Queen B.
Santana: HEY! Don't you guys have any respect for law and order?!
Bobby: Nope.
Balista: Kill them.
Johnny: You BASTARDS! You won't get away with this!
Balista: I know that FULL WELL, detective. Good night.
Bobby: You heard the lady, copper. Time to say goodnight!
Punk: No one gets out, by order of Balista!
Firebug: Mfgllll mfwrrrr! MFWRRRR!
##New Managment##
Newsreader: The Precinct 9 police station was attacked today by the infamous Hive Gang. Their leader, a woman known only as Balista, is the self-crowned queen of disorganized crime in our fair city.
Newsreader: Balista's army of fanatical street thugs quickly took control of the station and have barricaded themselves inside. It's unclear whether anyone survived the barbaric onslaught!
Newsreader: The assault was probably a reckless act of revenge for a recent crime-fighing campaign led by Commissioner Hagan, in which several high-ranking members of the Hive Gang were killed.
Newsreader: The mayor briefly commented on the attack, calling it "totally unfair." We will bring you live updates as this exciting story unfolds!
Balista: This is Balista speaking. This station is now under Hive Gang control. All exits are sealed. There is no escape.
Balista: To all my brave warriors, my faithful berserkers: crush the last remaining pockets of resistance! Bring me the head of Commissioner Hagan!
Balista: Tonight there is but one law: Do what your Hate tells you!
Johnny: Hey, you're those prisoners! How the hell did you survive? Nevermind. I see you're no friend of the Hive Gang. So let's help each other.
Johnny: There's this pilot guy - a prisoner like you. He's over in Detention Block D. If anyone can get you out of this mess, it's him. And I can get you to him - but first you need to help me kill Balista.
Johnny: Crap, they're coming! Listen. There's an elevator through the door behind you. I'll try to to find another way upstairs. I'll meet you there - I hope.
Jug: Hey Frank, can I borrow a buck? I wanna buy a soda from the machine.
Frank: Buy a soda? BUY a soda?! You're a THUG! You have a BAT! Just SMASH the damn thing!
Jug: Oooh... I dunno, that sounds like a lot of work... Easier to just...
Frank: That's not the POINT! It's about... it's about PRINCI-PULLS! Where would the Hive Gang be if we started PAYING for things?
Jug: Guess you're right Frank... It's important to have princi-pulls.
Frank: PEOPLE these days...
Agent: You can tell your men to relax, detective. We'll take it from here.
Detective Kong: You mercenary scumbags! I wanted reinforcements - COPS, not a bunch of trigger-happy mercenaries!
Agent: The mayor deems your department... INSUFFICIENT for the situation at hand. Leave this to the professionals.
Detective Kong: You... you... why I oughtta...!
Agent: Alpha tango to zeta foxtrot. Deploy the Streetsweepers.
Punk Leader: Die! By order of Balista!
## Under Siedge ##
Newsreader: ...with more snow expected through the holiday weekend.
Newsreader: This just in: By order of the mayor, several MetroLaw units have been deployed to deal with the terrorists who seized control of the Precinct 9 police station earlier tonight.
Newsreader: Many have pointed to tonight's events as further evidence of the obsoletion of the traditional police force, and that fully privatized law enforcement is surely the way of the future.
Newsreader: This broadcast has been sponsored by MetroCorp: A Brighter Future for Sunny City. Good night!
Punk: Heeelp! It's after me!
Balista: This is Balista speaking! The coward Hagan must give himself up!
Commissioner Hagan: Ha! Not likely!
Balista: Furthermore, whoever brings me the commissioner - dead or alive - will be spared further violence!
Commissioner Hagan: So, you'll turn my own men against me?! You evil, stinking, blood-crazy...
Commissioner Hagan: That does it! NO ONE is getting in! No matter how they BEG!
Commissioner Hagan: No! How did you get in? HELP!!
Punk: Woooh! Nice shot, Queen B!
##Detention Block D##
Jeff: If you're after my beer, it'sh all gone. These coppers confshi... consh... took it when they bushted me. They took my wings, the bashtards!
Jeff: Now I'm jusht waiting for thoshe thugsh to come back and finish me off. I don't feel like running any more. It'sh jusht one damn thing after another...
Jeff: Nope. Never gonna fly again... might ash well give up and jusht [grumbles incomprehensibly].
Jeff: I mean what'sh the point if they can jusht... hmm... umm... ish that a...?
Jeff: Ok, you've convincshed me. Let'sh fly out of here!
Jeff: Don't worry. I'm shteady ash a rock. And I'll FLY like one, jusht you wait.
Jeff: Okay, let'sh shee here. I'd rather have my trusty plane, but... thish'll do. If I can jusht find the ignition. Ah, here it ish.
Jeff: Dang it! Shomething'sh wrong with the enginesh. What numbshkull worked on thish? Gimme a minute to check under the hood here...
Jeff: Hold them off while I work on thish thing!
Jeff: Thish thing ish old even by my standardsh... Where doesh thish part go? No, that'sh not it...
Jeff: Hmmm. Firsht engine is done, but the shecond engine could use some tweaking too. Hold them off a bit longer, guysh!
Jeff: She's alive! SHE'S ALIVE! Hop on board, guysh!
MetroCop: Don't let them get away! DO something!
MetroCop: Like what? We're already shooting at them. And we're all out of Streetsweepers.
MetroCop: Save your excuses for the boss, you idiot!
##The Clock Tower##
Jeff: A shmooth getaway, all thingsh conshidered!
Jeff: The name'sh Jeff, by the way. You know, thish could be the beginning of a beautiful...
Thug: MY LIFE FOR BALISTAAAAA!!!
Jeff: ...EMERGENCY!!! Abandon ship!
Jeff: And kill that crazy broad for me, will ya?
Johnny: Give it up, Balista! Hagan is dead - you got what you wanted!
Balista: But why stop now when I'm having SO... MUCH... FUN?
Lord Pinkerton: RUHAHAAAARRR HUARRRR!
: You no hurt Queen Balista!
Balista: If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself!
Quillhogg: You no hurt Queen Balista!
Jeff: Sho, you're shtill alive! Get in!
Johnny: Thanks for the help. You better get out of here. Far from Sunny City.
Johnny: Send me a postcard, will ya?
Jeff: You won't believe how I shurvived. I'll tell you later!
Jeff: I ain't gonna shtick around here all night!
The Spectator: They don't give up, do they?\r\nMaybe it is that they don't know how.
The Spectator: Now, I imagine some rest is in order. A moment's peace, perhaps, somewhere beyond those dark hills.
The Spectator: But the struggle between Order and Chaos is not yet determined. The balance will shift, and our heroes will return again and again to Sunny City.
The Spectator: 'Til then, what's there to say but:\r\nWell played, ladies and gentlemen.